Un-Procrastination: The Next Step

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.  -William James

A couple of weeks ago, I invited you to make an “Unprocrastination List” – a master list of things long procrastinated - and to start tackling it, one thing at a time.  

Completing long procrastinated tasks can free up enormous amounts of energy - the energy that you are currently using to beat yourself up for not having completed those tasks.

But that list sure looks daunting!  Here's how to get past the overwhelm and get going:  chunk it down.

Look at your list and identify the very next step you need to take on each item.  I discovered this technique in David Allen's Getting Things Done book a few years back, and (when I remember to do it), have found it to invaluable for managing projects large and small.  And for things I have procrastinated, it is essential. 

For example,  the first item on my Unprocrastination List was “new pair of pants.”  Now I know that for many people, getting a new pair of pants would be a simple retail transaction.  Go to the store, take a pair off of the rack, and go pay for them.   But I have trouble finding pants that fit and flatter, and can try on 20 pairs and not find any I like.   I had been thinking about getting a tailor to make me a pair using my favorite (now battered) pair, but dreaded both the cost and the thought of parting with my pants for a week or two.  What would I wear then? 

So, on my list, I identified the next step as “call the tailor and get a cost and time estimate.”  But then I realized that that wasn’t the very next step.  The very  next step – the first step toward completion of this project – was to look up the phone number of the tailor.  So I did that right then (2 minutes on the Internet) and wrote it on The List.  The next step was to call the tailor.  I procrastinated that until the following day. ;-) 

I called the tailor and found out that the cost was much more reasonable than I had imagined.  The next step was to go to the fabric store to buy the material.  Done when I had a chance to shop, two days later.  Next was to take the fabric and my current pants to the tailor, which had to wait a week because that was the first opportunity I had to get there during the hours they are open.  Then I had to wait another week – not because I was procrastinating, but because the tailor’s daughter had a baby.  Remember that there is a difference between delay and procrastination. 

I invite you to take a moment right now to identify the very next step for each item on your Unprocrastination List.  Then when you have a free moment, you can scan the list and tick off one of the “next steps.”  Instead of a big chore, you’ll have one small task to complete.  Slow and steady wins the race.  This will also allow you to bunch errands that can be efficiently done together, rather than going to the office supply store to get folders and realizing after you get there that the dry cleaner is right next door and your dry cleaning is back at home.

So:  what’s the next step?

P.S.   If you've been procrastinating taking a One Hour Retreat, do it before you tackle the other items on your Un-Procrastination List! 

Retreat from Procrastination

It turns out that we can blame our propensity to procrastinate on biology. 

So you’re not a lazy slug – you are the victim of your genes!  Blame it on your limbic system.  An article in the April issue of Real Simple magazine reports that scientists have found that the limbic system, which is the part of the brain that kicks in to cause you to flee from dangerous circumstances, also kicks in to cause you to flee from unpleasant tasks. 

Because the limbic system operates on autopilot, it often wins out against the more deliberate pre-frontal cortex.  The pre-frontal cortex is the part of your brain that can review all of the data and make conscious and wise decisions.  Like, for instance, “if I do the dishes right now, it’ll only take 5 minutes, but if I wait three days, it will take me 15 minutes to scrub off that caked-on gunk and another 20 to do the rest of the dishes that have accumulated.”  Or, as another, more important, example, “if I keep up with my annual health screenings, I'll be much more likely to avoid major health problems down the road."

The Real Simple article includes seven ideas for by-passing the procrastination response and tricking yourself into productivity.  The one that caught my eye – and the one I had never heard before -  was to “plan an unprocrastination day.”  A Real Simple editor and one of her friends cooked up this idea, and spent an entire day (9am to 7pm) doing errands they had long put off. 

While the concept of unprocrastination intrigued me, the idea of devoting a whole day to the dreaded tasks sounded like cruel and unusual punishment, even with the support of a friend. But after reading this article, the idea of unprocrastination  took hold and wouldn’t let go.  So I decided to make my own Unprocrastination List, and just tackle a few a week.    The Unprocrastination List is different than a to-do list.  For one thing, I don't have any intention of doing them all today, or even this week.  For another, I'll stop transferring them from day to day (month to month, year to year....) on my other lists.  I'll just matter of factly tackle one or two at at time, one step at a time.  It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’ve already ticked a few things off my Unprocrastination List, and made progress on others. 

Perhaps more importantly, I’m more conscious of not procrastinating things in the first place. So today, as I was about to sit down and buff up this article, I remembered that I had a couple of higher priority things to do first.  They weren’t nearly as fun as writing, but they had a higher value in the grand scheme.  My first thought was to do this article first and then do the other things “later.”  Then the irony of that hit me – I was about to procrastinate some non-urgent but important tasks to write an article about avoiding procrastination.  The complete absurdity of that engaged my pre-frontal cortex (and my funny bone), and  I am pleased to report that I "unprocrastinated" the most important things, and completed them.  And then wrote this post.    

What can you unprocrastinate?  Play with that idea over the next few weeks and see where it leads....

For more tips on avoiding procrastination, see http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/time-management/how-to-stop-procrastinating-00000000055280/index.html .  Or get the April issue of Real Simple magazine if you want more background in the brain science behind the tips.

I’ll be posting some of my own tips soon.  Feel free to share your best unprocrastination tips in the comments box below.

Note to readers:  I’m finding the retreat theme to be a bit “one-note” and I suspect you may be too.  So I will be broadening the scope of this blog to include thoughts on some of those things in life that cause us to want to retreat, and tips and techniques to help us carry the benefits of retreat back out into our daily lives.

Stop, Look and Listen - A Retreat for Lent (whether or not you observe Lent)

If you are of Christian heritage, you may or may not know that the Christian season of Lent started yesterday.  The season of Lent used to have a vaguely negative association for me, resulting in a vaguely guilty feeling that I should be doing more to observe it, that I should be denying myself, suffering in some way, sacrificing in some way.  This despite the fact that when I was a child, my church barely mentioned Lent, and required no sacrifice or suffering.

The Catholic kids I knew always gave up candy for Lent.  Kids being kids, they were never able to explain to me what the point of it was, other than that they "had to," or "to understand the suffering of Christ."  I never understood what giving up M&Ms for the duration of Lent could possibly have to do with understanding God.

I now understand that there are various ways of observing Lent, just as there are various spiritual practices that can help us draw closer to God.  Fasting may be one path, but this post is not about fasting. It is about using the 40 days of Lent as a time of reflection, in whatever way works for you, with the goal of returning yourself to a closer alignment with God

Who among us couldn't benefit from living in closer alignment with God, or Spirit, or the Universe, or whatever words you use to describe the indescribable Source and Connection and Love? 

Whether or not you consider yourself Christian, why not take some time this week (and perhaps some time in each of the next six weeks) to stop, look and listen for Spirit?  Stop what you are doing, look (really look) at your life; and listen (really listen) to Source. 

Stop.  Set aside some time - an hour would be great, but 15 minutes will do - to just stop.  Find a place of solitude, whether in your home, a pubic garden or library, or even your car - where you can be alone and undisturbed for this brief period of retreat.  Bring something to take notes - either a pen and paper, or an electronic notepad of some sort.

Look.  Look - really look - at what is going on in your life right now.  Are certain areas being neglected?  Are others getting too much of your attention, perhaps due to guilt or a feeling of obligation?  Observe - with as little self-criticism as you can manage - and make notes.  How often are you living from center?  We all get off-balance from time to time, from hour to hour, even from moment to moment.  But how much time, in the aggregate, are you living from center, with intention, as opposed to running from place to place without giving thought to other options and other choices you might make? Once again, observe, without judgment, and make notes.

Listen.  Listen to your heart.  Listen to that wise voice inside of you, whether you call that voice God, or Spirit, or your Higher Self, or something else.  Listen to what that voice has to say to you.

Act.  Heed that voice, and take action to follow it.  You may not be able to change your bad habits or your kids' overcrowded schedules overnight, but you can take action every day to bring your life into greater alignment with your values and your purpose for being here.

Repeat.  Make retreat a habit.  Make listening to the voice of Wisdom a habit.  Make living in alignment with Wisdom a habit.  And, over time, you will find yourself living more and more in alignment with your values, and with that voice of Wisdom.  And you will find yourself being able to recognize that voice of Wisdom more readily, and able to live from that place of center more easily - even while in the midst of the daily chaos. 

If you are of Christian heritage and are still considering whether or not to "do something" for Lent, here are two resources:

1) Meditations for Lent:  Into His Presence, a six-week guided meditation practice which is available by telephone free of charge.  (Full disclosure:  I lead this series on behalf of the Oxford United Methodist Church.)  As Christians, we believe that God is ever-present and always with us.  But the question is:  how often are we present to God?  In this series, we will practice ways of opening ourselves to the Presence of God, and of removing blocks that keep us from allowing ourselves to be present to God.  The series starts on March 9th, but you can join at any time in the next six weeks.  You can participate live or listen to the recordings, and you can attend as many or as few sessions as you would like to or are able to. For details, send an e-mail to lentenmed2011@aweber.com.  

2) For more active ways to observe the Lenten season, check out the "Top Ten List:  Things You Can Try for the Lenten Season" in this Lent 101 blog post from Upper Room Ministries (scroll about half-way down the page for the list): http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/articles/lent101.asp

A Spa Retreat - Ahhh...

At home or at the spa, services that relax and nurture your body also relax and nurture your mind and soul.  Treat yourself to a spa retreat this month.  If time and/or funds are tight (as they often are this time of year), then give yourself a "spa retreat" at home.

Choose one or more of the following activities, whichever appeal to you:

• Manicure
• Pedicure
• Bubble bath
• Long shower
• Aromatherapy (essential oils or scented candles)
• Nap
• Facial
• Yoga, Pilates or gentle stretching
• Meditation (silent or using an audio recording)
• Fresh made soup (chicken, lentil or vegetable)
• Journaling
• An uplifting movie
• A tall glass of water, with a wedge of lemon
• Herb tea
• Snuggling up by a fireplace 

If you have a willing partner, you might even be able to finangle a massage.  If not, treat yourself to a self-massage:  do a few minutes of very gentle stretching and finish by gently kneading your hands and feet, being sure to cover each finger and toe and both the tops and bottoms of your hands and feet.

Ahhh...

Breathing Space

"I just need a little room to breathe...," I complained to a friend.

And suddenly it became clear to me:  I am the only one who can give myself that space.  I am the only one who can say no, the only one who can reschedule my obligations and commitments, the only one who can delegate, ask for, or hire help.   I am the only one who can let myself relax when I do have a spare minute, rather than spending that time thinking how busy I am, berating myself for not planning more carefully, or grousing about how so-and-so should be helping me with whatever-it-is.  I am the only one who can give myself room to breathe.

What about you?  No matter HOW busy you are, you CAN give yourself room to breathe.  But it takes a conscious effort to stop and truly let go of everything that is going on.  To stop planning, to stop worrying, to stop grousing and complaining and berating yourself and others.  To allow yourself a little space.

As I was writing this, I looked up from my computer and glanced out the window.  A flock of chickadees was flitting back and forth from the feeders to the shrubs.  I said to myself, "get back to work!"  And then I realized, THIS is what I am talking about.  THIS is what life is about - allowing myself the breathing room to take a mere 30 seconds to enjoy watching the birds, to let my body relax, to restore my soul.

So what about you?  How can  you give yourself a little breathing room?  How WILL you give yourself a little breathing room?

How NOT to Retreat

True confessions....  I - me - the one whose mantra is"if you are overwhelmed, off-kilter, confused, or just want to get more focused and in flow, take a short retreat" - I actually had myself convinced that launching a new venture constituted a "retreat." 

I had some basis for this.  After all, rational-lies do tend to have a kernel of logic.  I do occasionally do things on my retreats that to the outside world would appear to be "work."  For instance, a few years back, my husband and daughter were traveling on the day after Christmas.  I decided to give myself the gift of that day to try to get my life in order (this was before I had articulated the At Home Retreat concept).  I looked forward to having that day all to myself during the entire month of December. 

On my appointed retreat day, I spent several hours collecting my stacks of unsorted important and unimportant papers, unread magazines, outstanding to-dos, undone errands, wish lists,  assorted household clutter and other "open items" and sorting through them using David Allen's "Getting Things Done" system.  I can't say it was the most fun I've ever had, but it did have a Zen-like quality to it.  David's system forces you to single task and deal with one item at a time (without losing track of other priorities).  I was taking control of my life again - and that was liberating.  And while it was "work," it was also a form of self-care, a giving of attention to things that needed attention, a collecting of "to-do's" that allowed me to see the true priorities and what needed to be dropped or delegated.  I had a LOT of stuff, and, as satisfying as the work was, it took a fair amount of energy, so I didn't finish it that day.  But I did "do, drop or delegate" a lot of items, and got much needed clarity, at a global as well as a detail level, about what was left to be done.  I felt much more in control of my busy life when I was done.  And that sense of calm and control lasted for months afterward. Vestiges of it are still with me today, in the systems I have in place and the knowledge that I can regain control on those occassions when life happens and things have slipped a bit.

I have also been known to use a One Hour Retreat to get clarity about a business issue or to brainstorm strategies.  And if my intention for the time was to take a step back in order to obtain clarity and focus, that time did in fact constitute a "retreat."

So, with that history, I looked forward to using this year's post-holiday retreat (yesterday) to finalize the launch of my new "30 Days to Done: Get Your Writing Done" online series.  (If you happen to be interested in that, you can get the details here: http://wingedlifecoaching.com/30daystodone.html)

But now I have to admit (gulp!) that that was not a retreat.  That was work.  Not "special" work, like the Getting It Done exercise I went through a few years ago, or "clarity and focus" work -  just everyday tasks that needed to get done and had gotten delayed due to the holidays.  And while I am really excited about completing the launch of the program, and looking forward to being able to share in my clients' success as they do in fact get their writing done, that doesn't make doing that work into a retreat.

And so now I'm planning a real retreat, starting as soon as I publish this post.  I know I "should" be publicizing the writing program, and I "should" be planning for the New Year (and I have been doing some thinking about that).  But right now, what I need is to relax and just be....

Retreats are great for planning, re-grouping, re-prioritizing, doing something creative, or jump-starting a spiritual practice.  But we don't always need to DO something on our retreats.  Sometimes, we can just be.  Just relax, have a cup of hot chocolate or hot coffee or hot toddy, sit by the fireplace or under a cozy blanket, and just nap, read, or listen to a favorite bit of music.

We don't always have to journal, pray, or do yoga.  We don't always have to plan or prioritize or observe. Sometimes we can - sometimes we need to - just be.

I invite you to take a "just being" retreat this week.  Take an hour (or more!) and let yourself truly unwind, let go, and be at peace.

Happy be-ing!

P.S. If you are in the mood for a New Year's oriented retreat, here is one to try: http://www.genuinecoaching.com/celebrating-the-gifts-of-the-year-a-new-year-exercise.html
This is from Linda Dessau, one of my favorite writing gurus.  I just discovered this site today, and found out that Linda is also a creativity coach.  I love her New Year's exercise, especially the emphasis on looking at how you've changed and grown, not just on what you've accomplished.  And the exercise from The Art of Possibility (the Zanders call it "Give Yourself An A") is one of my favorites.  Reminds me that it's time for me to revisit that book!

If you're beating yourself up over too much December indulgence of one type or another, check out last year's One Hour Retreat suggestion here:  http://onehourretreat.blogspot.com/2010/01/holiday-hangover-dont-make-it-worse.html

Happy retreating!

A Gratitude Retreat?? Get Real!

Thanksgiving is upon us - and offers a perfect time to take a gratitude retreat.

I know, I know - it sounds pretty hokey.  But stay with me, just for a minute.

Turns out that counting your blessings is actually good for you (and yes, I do know that the family you may be spending Thanksgiving with may or may not be among your blessings...)  Researchers have found that practicing gratitude will likely improve not only your mood, but also your resistance to illness, the quality of your sleep and your progress toward your goals!

Spiritual traditions have touted the practice of gratitude for millenia.  And now studies by Robert Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis, and others have provided scientific evidence to back up the anecdotal evidence.  Even business schools (Graziadio School of Business and Management) and WebMD tout the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. 

A simple way to practice gratitude is to take just 3-5 minutes on two or three evenings in the next week to write down what you are grateful for.  List as many things as you can think of in the time you have allotted, or write in more depth about three things and why you are grateful for them.

If you find this practice helpful, continue it indefinitely, or whenever things don’t seem to be going your way.

For more on this subject, check out THANKS! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier (New York: Mariner Books, 2008) by Robert Emmons, PhD.

I am grateful that you are taking time to retreat!  I am convinced that if we each took a One Hour Retreat once a week and 3-5 minute mini-retreats once or twice a week, the world would be a better place.

Happy Thanks-Giving!