One Hour Can Change Your Life

Relax and focus - in one hour - at or near your home. Use your One Hour Retreat to get back on track - in your business, in your relationships, or in just being YOU!

Thursday

Stop, Look and Listen - A Retreat for Lent (whether or not you observe Lent)

If you are of Christian heritage, you may or may not know that the Christian season of Lent started yesterday.  The season of Lent used to have a vaguely negative association for me, resulting in a vaguely guilty feeling that I should be doing more to observe it, that I should be denying myself, suffering in some way, sacrificing in some way.  This despite the fact that when I was a child, my church barely mentioned Lent, and required no sacrifice or suffering.

The Catholic kids I knew always gave up candy for Lent.  Kids being kids, they were never able to explain to me what the point of it was, other than that they "had to," or "to understand the suffering of Christ."  I never understood what giving up M&Ms for the duration of Lent could possibly have to do with understanding God.

I now understand that there are various ways of observing Lent, just as there are various spiritual practices that can help us draw closer to God.  Fasting may be one path, but this post is not about fasting. It is about using the 40 days of Lent as a time of reflection, in whatever way works for you, with the goal of returning yourself to a closer alignment with God

Who among us couldn't benefit from living in closer alignment with God, or Spirit, or the Universe, or whatever words you use to describe the indescribable Source and Connection and Love? 

Whether or not you consider yourself Christian, why not take some time this week (and perhaps some time in each of the next six weeks) to stop, look and listen for Spirit?  Stop what you are doing, look (really look) at your life; and listen (really listen) to Source. 

Stop.  Set aside some time - an hour would be great, but 15 minutes will do - to just stop.  Find a place of solitude, whether in your home, a pubic garden or library, or even your car - where you can be alone and undisturbed for this brief period of retreat.  Bring something to take notes - either a pen and paper, or an electronic notepad of some sort.

Look.  Look - really look - at what is going on in your life right now.  Are certain areas being neglected?  Are others getting too much of your attention, perhaps due to guilt or a feeling of obligation?  Observe - with as little self-criticism as you can manage - and make notes.  How often are you living from center?  We all get off-balance from time to time, from hour to hour, even from moment to moment.  But how much time, in the aggregate, are you living from center, with intention, as opposed to running from place to place without giving thought to other options and other choices you might make? Once again, observe, without judgment, and make notes.

Listen.  Listen to your heart.  Listen to that wise voice inside of you, whether you call that voice God, or Spirit, or your Higher Self, or something else.  Listen to what that voice has to say to you.

Act.  Heed that voice, and take action to follow it.  You may not be able to change your bad habits or your kids' overcrowded schedules overnight, but you can take action every day to bring your life into greater alignment with your values and your purpose for being here.

Repeat.  Make retreat a habit.  Make listening to the voice of Wisdom a habit.  Make living in alignment with Wisdom a habit.  And, over time, you will find yourself living more and more in alignment with your values, and with that voice of Wisdom.  And you will find yourself being able to recognize that voice of Wisdom more readily, and able to live from that place of center more easily - even while in the midst of the daily chaos. 

If you are of Christian heritage and are still considering whether or not to "do something" for Lent, here are two resources:

1) Meditations for Lent:  Into His Presence, a six-week guided meditation practice which is available by telephone free of charge.  (Full disclosure:  I lead this series on behalf of the Oxford United Methodist Church.)  As Christians, we believe that God is ever-present and always with us.  But the question is:  how often are we present to God?  In this series, we will practice ways of opening ourselves to the Presence of God, and of removing blocks that keep us from allowing ourselves to be present to God.  The series starts on March 9th, but you can join at any time in the next six weeks.  You can participate live or listen to the recordings, and you can attend as many or as few sessions as you would like to or are able to. For details, send an e-mail to lentenmed2011@aweber.com.  

2) For more active ways to observe the Lenten season, check out the "Top Ten List:  Things You Can Try for the Lenten Season" in this Lent 101 blog post from Upper Room Ministries (scroll about half-way down the page for the list): http://www.upperroom.org/methodx/thelife/articles/lent101.asp

Sunday

A Spa Retreat - Ahhh...

At home or at the spa, services that relax and nurture your body also relax and nurture your mind and soul.  Treat yourself to a spa retreat this month.  If time and/or funds are tight (as they often are this time of year), then give yourself a "spa retreat" at home.

Choose one or more of the following activities, whichever appeal to you:
  • Manicure
  • Pedicure
  • Bubble bath
  • Long shower
  • Aromatherapy (essential oils or scented candles)
  • Nap
  • Facial
  • Yoga, Pilates or gentle stretching
  • Meditation (silent or using an audio recording)
  • Fresh made soup (chicken, lentil or vegetable)
  • Journaling
  • An uplifting movie
  • A tall glass of water, with a wedge of lemon
  • Herb tea
  • Snuggling up by a fireplace 
If you have a willing partner, you might even be able to finangle a massage.  If not, treat yourself to a self-massage:  do a few minutes of very gentle stretching and finish by gently kneading your hands and feet, being sure to cover each finger and toe and both the tops and bottoms of your hands and feet.

Ahhh...

Breathing Space

"I just need a little room to breathe...," I complained to a friend.

And suddenly it became clear to me:  I am the only one who can give myself that space.  I am the only one who can say no, the only one who can reschedule my obligations and commitments, the only one who can delegate, ask for, or hire help.   I am the only one who can let myself relax when I do have a spare minute, rather than spending that time thinking how busy I am, berating myself for not planning more carefully, or grousing about how so-and-so should be helping me with whatever-it-is.  I am the only one who can give myself room to breathe.

What about you?  No matter HOW busy you are, you CAN give yourself room to breathe.  But it takes a conscious effort to stop and truly let go of everything that is going on.  To stop planning, to stop worrying, to stop grousing and complaining and berating yourself and others.  To allow yourself a little space.

As I was writing this, I looked up from my computer and glanced out the window.  A flock of chickadees was flitting back and forth from the feeders to the shrubs.  I said to myself, "get back to work!"  And then I realized, THIS is what I am talking about.  THIS is what life is about - allowing myself the breathing room to take a mere 30 seconds to enjoy watching the birds, to let my body relax, to restore my soul.

So what about you?  How can  you give yourself a little breathing room?  How WILL you give yourself a little breathing room?

Tuesday

How NOT to Retreat

True confessions....  I - me - the one whose mantra is"if you are overwhelmed, off-kilter, confused, or just want to get more focused and in flow, take a short retreat" - I actually had myself convinced that launching a new venture constituted a "retreat." 

I had some basis for this.  After all, rational-lies do tend to have a kernel of logic.  I do occasionally do things on my retreats that to the outside world would appear to be "work."  For instance, a few years back, my husband and daughter were traveling on the day after Christmas.  I decided to give myself the gift of that day to try to get my life in order (this was before I had articulated the At Home Retreat concept).  I looked forward to having that day all to myself during the entire month of December. 

On my appointed retreat day, I spent several hours collecting my stacks of unsorted important and unimportant papers, unread magazines, outstanding to-dos, undone errands, wish lists,  assorted household clutter and other "open items" and sorting through them using David Allen's "Getting Things Done" system.  I can't say it was the most fun I've ever had, but it did have a Zen-like quality to it.  David's system forces you to single task and deal with one item at a time (without losing track of other priorities).  I was taking control of my life again - and that was liberating.  And while it was "work," it was also a form of self-care, a giving of attention to things that needed attention, a collecting of "to-do's" that allowed me to see the true priorities and what needed to be dropped or delegated.  I had a LOT of stuff, and, as satisfying as the work was, it took a fair amount of energy, so I didn't finish it that day.  But I did "do, drop or delegate" a lot of items, and got much needed clarity, at a global as well as a detail level, about what was left to be done.  I felt much more in control of my busy life when I was done.  And that sense of calm and control lasted for months afterward. Vestiges of it are still with me today, in the systems I have in place and the knowledge that I can regain control on those occassions when life happens and things have slipped a bit.

I have also been known to use a One Hour Retreat to get clarity about a business issue or to brainstorm strategies.  And if my intention for the time was to take a step back in order to obtain clarity and focus, that time did in fact constitute a "retreat."

So, with that history, I looked forward to using this year's post-holiday retreat (yesterday) to finalize the launch of my new "30 Days to Done: Get Your Writing Done" online series.  (If you happen to be interested in that, you can get the details here: http://wingedlifecoaching.com/30daystodone.html)

But now I have to admit (gulp!) that that was not a retreat.  That was work.  Not "special" work, like the Getting It Done exercise I went through a few years ago, or "clarity and focus" work -  just everyday tasks that needed to get done and had gotten delayed due to the holidays.  And while I am really excited about completing the launch of the program, and looking forward to being able to share in my clients' success as they do in fact get their writing done, that doesn't make doing that work into a retreat.

And so now I'm planning a real retreat, starting as soon as I publish this post.  I know I "should" be publicizing the writing program, and I "should" be planning for the New Year (and I have been doing some thinking about that).  But right now, what I need is to relax and just be....

Retreats are great for planning, re-grouping, re-prioritizing, doing something creative, or jump-starting a spiritual practice.  But we don't always need to DO something on our retreats.  Sometimes, we can just be.  Just relax, have a cup of hot chocolate or hot coffee or hot toddy, sit by the fireplace or under a cozy blanket, and just nap, read, or listen to a favorite bit of music.

We don't always have to journal, pray, or do yoga.  We don't always have to plan or prioritize or observe. Sometimes we can - sometimes we need to - just be.

I invite you to take a "just being" retreat this week.  Take an hour (or more!) and let yourself truly unwind, let go, and be at peace.

Happy be-ing!

P.S. If you are in the mood for a New Year's oriented retreat, here is one to try: http://www.genuinecoaching.com/celebrating-the-gifts-of-the-year-a-new-year-exercise.html
This is from Linda Dessau, one of my favorite writing gurus.  I just discovered this site today, and found out that Linda is also a creativity coach.  I love her New Year's exercise, especially the emphasis on looking at how you've changed and grown, not just on what you've accomplished.  And the exercise from The Art of Possibility (the Zanders call it "Give Yourself An A") is one of my favorites.  Reminds me that it's time for me to revisit that book!

If you're beating yourself up over too much December indulgence of one type or another, check out last year's One Hour Retreat suggestion here:  http://onehourretreat.blogspot.com/2010/01/holiday-hangover-dont-make-it-worse.html

Happy retreating!

Monday

A Gratitude Retreat?? Get Real!

Thanksgiving is upon us - and offers a perfect time to take a gratitude retreat.

I know, I know - it sounds pretty hokey.  But stay with me, just for a minute.

Turns out that counting your blessings is actually good for you (and yes, I do know that the family you may be spending Thanksgiving with may or may not be among your blessings...)  Researchers have found that practicing gratitude will likely improve not only your mood, but also your resistance to illness, the quality of your sleep and your progress toward your goals!

Spiritual traditions have touted the practice of gratitude for millenia.  And now studies by Robert Emmons, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis, and others have provided scientific evidence to back up the anecdotal evidence.  Even business schools (Graziadio School of Business and Management) and WebMD tout the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. 

A simple way to practice gratitude is to take just 3-5 minutes on two or three evenings in the next week to write down what you are grateful for.  List as many things as you can think of in the time you have allotted, or write in more depth about three things and why you are grateful for them.

If you find this practice helpful, continue it indefinitely, or whenever things don’t seem to be going your way.

For more on this subject, check out THANKS! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier (New York: Mariner Books, 2008) by Robert Emmons, PhD.

I am grateful that you are taking time to retreat!  I am convinced that if we each took a One Hour Retreat once a week and 3-5 minute mini-retreats once or twice a week, the world would be a better place.

Happy Thanks-Giving!

Saturday

Take a Dose of Nature and Call Me in the Morning

I have always found nature and the outdoors to be restorative, and now doctors are actually prescribing it!

In the October/November 2010 issue of National Wildlife magazine, Dr. Daphne Miller, a family physician and associate clinical professor  at UC-San Francisco, describes physicians' use of "park prescriptions."  These "park prescriptions" are basically recommendations to spend time in greenspace doing some form of light movement.  Dr. Miller reports that "doctors around the country are medicating their patients with nature in order to prevent (or treat) health problems ranging from heart disease to attention deficit disorder." 

As the days get shorter and colder, it can be tempting to snuggle up indoors with a cup of hot chocolate.  And that could be fine retreat.  But getting out and getting some fresh air, even for just 5 or 10 minutes, can be incredibly energizing.   An infusion of sunshine and oxygen can do wonders for your mind, body and spirit - even on a cold day. 

A study by researchers in Japan found that the Japanese practice of "forest bathing" (basically, spending time in a forest) found that "forest environments promote lower concentrations of cortisol, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, greater parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity than do city environments." 

Another study, by Andrea Faber Taylor and Frances E. Kuo of the University of Illinois, found that a 20 minute walk in a park improved concentration in children with ADHD more than a comparable 20 minute walk downtown or in a well-kept neighborhood.  And, even those of us who do not suffer from ADHD have felt the effects of attention deficit - think of those times when you have been multi-tasking for hours and suddenly cannot seem to focus on anything.

For those of you who remain skeptical of the effects of nature on health and well-being, I've included a few links to the research below - a Google search will turn up many more. 

For those of you who already know the benefits of nature, stop reading and get thee outside!

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19568835
http://jad.sagepub.com/content/early/2008/08/25/1087054708323000.abstract
http://www.johnvdavis.com/ep/benefits.htm
http://landscaperesearch.livingreviews.org/open?pubNo=lrlr-2007-2&page=articlese3.html


“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.”  -John Muir

Thursday

A (Would-Be) Writer's Retreat

If you've ever dreamed of being a writer - whether of fiction or
non-fiction, a short story or a book, a poem or an instructional manual - you are probably aware of the existence of  "writer's retreats."  But, intriguing as they may sound, since you're not really a writer, you would never dream of actually attending one.  All those other writers - those accomplished writers, those writers who have gotten going, those writers who actually write - would be too intimidating.

Lest you are wondering, I say all that with tongue firmly in cheek.  But having coached many would-be writers, I also know that there is a lot of truth there. Every writer thinks his or her Writer's Block is unique, insurmountable, and possibly neurotic.

I invite you to experiment with using a series of One Hour Retreats to get yourself writing!

The beauty of the One Hour Retreat is that you can fit it in whenever you have time.  And whether you schedule it in advance, or just look for opportunities to sneak it in, your subconcious will start writing before you even take pen, pencil or keyboard in hand!

Tips for a Successful Would-Be Writer's Retreat

1) Set your intention to use your retreat time to write.  No excuses, no phone calls, no texting, no e-mail. Set an intention to use the time to write.  Even if what comes out is crap.  Even if can't think of anything original to say.  Even if you have "writer's block." 

2) Carry a notebook or sheet of paper with you at all times, to record random ideas that may suddenly pop up once you've set your intention.

3) When retreat time comes, write!  That may seem obvious, but if the dreaded Writer's Block tries to join your retreat, write anyway.  Write about your day, describe the space you are in, critique what you watched on television last night or write about a current joy or concern.  Just write!  You will likely find that if you just ignore Writer's Block and continue on, W.B. will get bored and decide to leave the party.

4) When your retreat time ends, acknowledge yourself for getting something on paper, whether it is golden prose or scattered fragments of ideas.  It is progress - acknowledge that  progress and invite more to come your way.

5) Start planning for your next One Hour Writer's Retreat.  And keep that notebook handy!

If Writer's Block just won't stop harassing you, then I invite you to schedule a Guided One Hour Retreat, using the link in the right sidebar.  I have a knack for helping people get clear about what it is they are trying to express and then get writing.  And I love watching "would-be writers" turn into writers.